If your children are saying this, then please listen to them carefully and completely. It is super tempting to have the child grow as per your experience and expectations, but that is not how the life works.
Each individual?s life is unique and they have every right to live the way they want and have every right to experience their life. Every life has its own journey and do not make your child?s journey as your journey. You had a shot at life once. If you are alive, you still do.
Please remember that everyone is not wired to become a doctor or an engineer or something else. But, everyone is certainly wired to live and to be happy.
It is possible that our parents told us what to do and they were also told the same by their parents. I?ve heard parents saying?
- What do the children know? I will teach them how to live
- I couldn?t be an engineer. I will make my child an engineer
- Neighbor?s child is going to abroad for education. I should send my child too
- I faced so many problems in my life. I will raise my child such that she will not face those problems
- I know what is best for my child
- It?s a crazy world outside, how will they live?
As soon as a child feels ?I should do?, that?s the end of their creativity and in a sense their journey. Imagine a child feeling ?I want to do?. They will surely find an answer and a way. Surely, it will not be without some hurdles, but that?s fine. Everyone faces hurdles.
I don?t want to scare you with the suicide and depression stories of children who couldn?t do what they want, but were forced to do what they should.
You may have the question, ?why is this such a big deal now, when things have been fine since ages?? Here are two things to carefully understand:
- Children have been suffering since ages, its just that they were scared to express and are suffering now as adults with mid-life crisis
- The most important thing is that, children now have more information on opportunities around, their own capacity and capabilities. Of course, children today have way more courage too, which was lacking earlier.
Let us not be a control freak killing the child?s curiosity. Help them explore the beautiful power of uncontaminated creative intelligence they came to this world with.
As always, I am happy to hear your thoughts and experiences.